Order In The Court
by PiKaChU ChU
Summary: The Harvest Moon Characters go to court!
1. Karen & Popuri

ORDER IN THE COURT -   
By Pikachu  
  
NOTE: Nothing to say except.. read and review?  
  
~ * ~ * ~  
  
*Karen and Popuri are walking into the courtroom*  
  
Judge: Order! Order in the court! I want to get this started.  
  
Karen: I object!  
  
Judge: AWW SHADDUP!  
  
Karen: Hey! Judges are supposed to be nice.  
  
Judge: Well maybe I'm not a "judges" am I?  
  
Karen: Are you on your period? Because sometimes when you're menstruating, you  
could be a real pain in the ass.  
  
Judge: I'm a MAN for cripes sake!  
  
Judge: This case will NOW begin whether any of y'alls say anything else.  
  
Popuri: But I haven't even said a word yet.  
  
Judge: SILENCE! The case between Popuri and Karen will now begin. Karen's lawyer is  
her best friend Ann, and Popuri's laywer is her father Basil.  
  
Karen: I still object.  
  
Judge: SHADDUP! Karen is suing Popuri for taking drugs and burning down her house  
NOW Karen, tell your side of the story.  
  
Karen: Well it all happened.. last night. I was fixing my hair and apply my makeup for my  
TOTALLY hot date with the new muscular farmer guy. He's really cute and strong and  
tall, dark and handsome!! He's so attractive!! Anyways, I like, was doing my stuff and  
then suddenly I saw a flame in the corner of my eye! My house was burning down. I  
ran out as fast as I can and I saw Popuri snickering and running off.   
  
Popuri: Lier.  
  
Karen: Fuck up.  
  
Judge: Hey! There will be no blasphemy in the courtroom, except by me! Now Karen, do  
you have any PROOF that Popuri burned your house down?  
  
Popuri: Yeah Karen, do you have any proof?  
  
Judge: Shut up, Popuri.  
  
Popuri: *lips are sealed*  
  
Karen: PROOF!? My goddamned house is burned to ashes!  
  
Judge: How do I know it's your house?  
  
Karen: You sure do know how to take the fun out of things.  
  
Karen: I call my first witness Jack to the stand!  
  
Judge: Hey! You can't do that!  
  
*Jack comes walking in*  
  
Judge: .. Oh well.  
  
Judge: Jack, is it true that Popuri burned down Karen's house?  
  
Jack: Yeah. As I came walking in I saw Popuri running out behind me with some  
matches.  
  
Popuri: Liers.  
  
Jack & Karen: Fuck up.  
  
Judge: It's a hard story to believe. But it can happen. Ann, what do you have to say  
about this?  
  
Ann: It's true.  
  
Judge: That's it?  
  
Ann: Did I stutter?  
  
Judge: Um, no ma'am.  
  
Ann: I thought so.  
  
Judge: Erhm, um, anyways, is that all Karen?  
  
Karen: I believe so.  
  
Judge: Please be seated. Popuri, come up to the stand and tell your story. *starts  
hearing kissy noises* *looks over and finds Jack and Karen making out* EXCUSE YOU  
TWO?!?! WE'RE IN COURT!!  
  
Karen: Bite me.  
  
Judge: Excuse me?  
  
Karen: *mimicks the judge in a squeaky, high pitched voice* Excuse me?  
  
Judge: Be quiet.  
  
Karen: Be quiet.  
  
Judge: Are you mimicking me?  
  
Karen: Are you mimicking me?  
  
Judge: STOP IT!  
  
Karen: STOP IT!  
  
Judge: SHADDUP!  
  
Karen: SHADDUP!  
  
Judge: I'm stupid.  
  
Karen: I know you are.  
  
*jury starts snickering*  
  
Judge: Anyways.. Popuri?  
  
Popuri: That's not true! I did not burn down her house!  
  
Basil: Stop lying, you know you did.  
  
Popuri: DAAAAAAAD!  
  
Basil: She's mentally retarded. She's been taking drugs lately and has been doing weird  
acts of vandalism. *starts crying* She smokes crack! I've been trying to get her on  
Nicoderm CQ but it doesn't work..  
  
Judge: And with that, I call this case to an end. Popuri you are proved guilty and Karen,  
you can sue Popuri's pockets for all I care.  
  
Karen: Alright, Popuri, fork up your money.  
  
Popuri: All I have is ten cents.  
  
Karen: Basil, fork up your money.  
  
*Basil takes out his money but drops a coin*  
  
Karen: I'll get it. *bends over and Popuri and the Judge are checking out her ass*  
  
Karen: Excuse you two?!  
  
Judge & Popuri: Nothing.  
  
Karen: *sighs*  
  
~ * ~  
  
NOTE: It was weird.. I know.. but.. five reviews will earn ya another chapter, erh, case.  
Next case: Jack and Cliff! 


	2. Jack & Cliff

ORDER IN THE COURT -   
By Pikachu  
  
NOTE: Sorry guys for letting you wait so long! I completely forgot about Fanfiction.net. And to make up for it, I'm writing another chapter of Order in the Court! ^_^  
  
~ * ~ * ~  
  
*Jack and Cliff are walking into the courtroom*  
  
Judge: Order in the court! Let's get this started, I need to run some earrands.  
  
Jack: *whistles*  
  
Judge: Why is it everytime I'm talking someone interrupts?  
  
Judge: SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!  
  
Jack: ...  
  
Judge: The case between Jack and Cliff will now begin.. *voice trails off*  
  
*Cliff listening to his portable cd player*  
  
Judge: Cliff can you turn that off?  
  
*Cliff is still bobbing his head to the music*  
  
Judge: Cliff can you turn that off??  
  
*Cliff still can't hear*  
  
*Jack throws a boulder at him*  
  
Jack: Wake up jackass and put your damned cd played away, moron!  
  
Cliff: *sticks up middle finger* Sit on this, and rotate  
  
Judge: Stop yer bickering. Jack is suing Cliff for kidnapping his dog.  
  
Cliff: I did not  
  
Judge: SILENCE  
  
Judge: Jack's lawyer is his "homie g-dawg" Kai and Cliff's lawyer is his girlfriend Ann  
  
Judge: Jack, kindly... tell your side of the story.  
  
Jack: Well it all happened one morning. I poured orange juice in my cornflakes and basically life was rough. I lost my shoes and someone took my clothes. I walked outside to feed the dog and he wasn't there! Then someone left a note saying "If YoU WaNt To KnOw WhErE YoUr DoG Is, LeAvE 3,000,000,000,000,000G iN tHe 2000 YeAr oLd OaK tReE bY tHe SpA aT MoOn MoUnTaIn"  
  
Judge: Why didnt you just pay?  
  
Jack: Because I'm not fucking Bill Gates  
  
Judge: I see. And why do you automatically assume that Cliff took your dog?  
  
Jack: Because he hates me so much  
  
Cliff: I DIDNT TAKE YOUR PATHETIC DOG  
  
Jack: Come say that to my face!!!  
  
Cliff: Your face is too ugly to bear looking at!!!  
  
Judge: Children, children! Act your age, now!  
  
Jack & Cliff: SHUT UP  
  
Judge: ...  
  
Judge: How dare you tell me to shutup!  
  
Jack: *flings a rubberband at the judge's ear*  
  
Judge: Do that again, I dare you!  
  
Cliff: *kicks Jack in the nuts* Dont do that to the judge  
  
Jack: Oh, yeah! *flings another* *then another* I'LL DO IT TILL I USE ALL THE RUBBERBANDS IN THE WORLD!!  
  
Kai: Jack, calm down dude  
  
Ann: Cliff, settle down, too  
  
Judge: Cliff why do you object to taking Jack's dog?  
  
Cliff: Because I didn't! Why would I want a dog? I have no money to care for those rabid little things. I'd rather feed it to Cain.  
  
Jack: *gasp* YOU FED KORO TO YOUR CRAPPY, DIRTY LITTLE HAWK?  
  
Cliff: No. If I had your dog, I would've.. but.. I DONT HAVE YOUR GRIMY LITTLE ANIMAL  
  
Judge: Do you have proof that you didnt take his dog?  
  
Cliff: Yes  
  
Judge: What?  
  
Cliff: Ann, here.  
  
Judge: Ann?! How in monkey hell is she proof?  
  
Ann: *breaks into tears* I admit it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here, under the floorboard!  
  
Judge: Too caught up in Spongebob, I see?  
  
Judge: Sorry Cliff, but that doesn't go through as proof  
  
Judge: I'm going to have to lock you up  
  
Cliff: LOOK FAG YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH EVIDENCE THAT I TOOK THE DOG, WHICH I DIDNT!  
  
Kai: *begins to sweat badly*  
  
Jack: Kai? Do you have the sweating disease??  
  
Kai: *sweats till fully soaked*  
  
Judge: Dont get your filthy sweat on my beautiful wood floor  
  
Kai: *sweats heavily till have the court is covered and everyone is swimming in it*  
  
Ann: EWW it smells!  
  
Jack: Kai you ok?  
  
Kai: *runs out of the courtroom*  
  
Judge: Anyways..  
  
*suddenly Kai runs back in with Koro*  
  
Kai: HERE! I TOOK YOUR DOG! I'M SORRY, YOU WERE BLABBING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL YOUR DOG WAS AND I GOT JEALOUS, SO I STOLE HIM!  
  
Jack: O..k..  
  
Kai: FORGIVE ME.. *runs out*  
  
Everyone in the courtroom: *Sweatdrop*  
  
Judge: I need a vacation..  
  
~ * ~ * ~  
  
NOTE: It was weird.. I know.. but.. five reviews will earn ya another chapter, erh, case.  
Next case: Maria and The Potion Shop Dealer! 


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